I can vaguely remember Friday nights before I got pregnant for the first time. I must have had plans, maybe even weekend trips. I went to bed past 3 am, because why not. Because next morning I could sleep in and then go for all day breakfast somewhere in town. During this all day breakfast I could consider my own needs only. I could order only what I liked + 3 cups of coffee. I could talk to other grown ups and/or read morning news and get annoyed at other people’s kids. I could then get ready for yet another evening of going out, enjoying a couple of glasses of wine or fancy overpriced cocktails at a new hip overcrowded place, where it is impossible to maintain a normal conversation because you cannot hear your own voice.
Now I spend my Friday evenings putting children to bed, breastfeeding a couple of times before I myself go to bed and – if I feel super adventurous – enjoy 1 very calculated glass of wine. I go to bed at exactly same time as any other day because my children will get up at exactly same time as any other day tomorrow and sometimes even earlier than that. All day long I will have to come up with different ways to entertain not 1, but 2 kids as kindergarten is closed for the weekend and it is fun family time. It will be family fun – after 3 cups of coffee and through tired eyes.
It is indeed super cosy to spend weekend with the family, watching the children growing up and learning at the enormous speed and getting to know yourself through them. But why, why cannot it be more balanced? Why all the “we need you” time is sooooo concentrated in these first couple of years and then completely disappear during teenage years? Why cannot a toddler have an inborn need to play 2 hrs a day completely alone and then take those 2 hrs back later in life, after growing up? Why cannot a baby accept that their crib is indeed a safer place to sleep than parents arms and quickly dose of for a long peaceful nap – every time? Separation anxiety? Cannot we leave it for later, e.g. tame teenagers wish to go out to wild parties every night…. so that the mom can go out to a (not so) wild party once in a while?